I decided to sell a few things on EBay. For someone with my particular learning differences, ineptitude and intolerance for detail, this is a really bad idea.* The EBay buying/selling template is BUSY, and there is a confusing array of options. Small, colorful icons of items for sale (I don’t want) seem to pop up randomly like ducks in a shooting gallery. In fact, the whole website has a carnival, straw market, do-or-die atmosphere that makes me sweat like the SATs.First I tried to sell a $2,000 designer purse I had “gently” used. I put it in the auction with a fail-secure duration of 7 days. I didn’t notice you’re supposed to add in the cost for shipping. The purse sold for $700 and before I sent it to the buyer, I bought high gloss, scuff-guard SHOE POLISH and tried to make the matte black item “like new”. Then I mailed it for $42. I received this note from the buyer upon receipt:Hey there, I got the bag and I would like to return it. I don’t know for sure what was put on the bag, it looks like some kind of leather paint or black polish. It wasn’t noted in the listing and it really devalues the bag, the whole body of the bag is sticky because of the substance, and when you look at an angle you can clearly see that something was applied to the bag because it is not even at all. It is also peeling off around the bottom trim. I am really disappointed because I was so excited to get this bag, I have been looking for one forever. What is your return address?So – she needs a synonym for “bag”, right? And I think after ten days, I spent like $80.00 to NOT sell a purse and when it comes back to me I’ll have to spend more money to have the shoe polish removed. Not to mention, there is a slight-of-hand series of PayPal transactions and EBay’s commission to remedy. PayPal and EBay are like dealing with Oz – quietly powerful behind a curtain of impenetrable voice mail… I decided to redeem myself to EBay, by selling the mismatched Eames chair I’ve had sitting around for many years. Clearly I didn’t learn my lesson with the previous transaction because I forgot to factor in the cost of shipping again. I spent several hours on Friday with the chair in my back seat like an unwelcome guest, trying to find someone who would ship it to Idaho for less than the amount of the bid. I gave up, refunded the money and this is the response I got from the buyer:Why did you refund the money without telling me first?, you could take the chair apart, it’s just a few bolts, what a bad seller you are, people like you should not be allowed to mess up with other people, bad badWhat, is he E. E. Cummings?My account allows me to sell up to 50 items per month. Think of the havoc…
*My ex-husband used to say (in his bustling British accent), “If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right!” He usually said that in reference to some half-assed attempt on my part to complete a complicated task. In those days, by the time he was disgusted enough to say it, I was usually in the bag and had ceased to care about the project at hand.
