We all have names for it. The Ghost, the Sleeping Giant, the Devil, the Dragon. It’s the alcoholic’s most terrifying bugaboo. Waiting in the back of the mind, or the pantry, or the neighborhood pub is a monster who rears an ugly head when we dare to wake it from a fitful sleep.
It’s a thirsty monster. One drink is never enough…
Last night I had a guest appearance on a Podcast @ http://www.sincerightnow.com/pdcst/
hosted by two recovering alcoholics named Chris and Jeff. We talked about the alcoholic’s need (my need) to personify booze – to demonize it and give it power over our lives. Think of the vulnerable image of a small, frightened being tiptoeing past a colossus…
I said, “I’m not sure I’m being fair to my old friend Chardonnay. Is it really the root of all my problems? Is it fair to anthropomorphize booze – make it a giant responsible for all my travails, all the mistakes I’ve made? Am I not responsible? Or am I being too hard on myself?”
And Jeff said something extremely simple (in response to all those frenetic queries), and it hit home. He said, “Sometimes people just do crazy things when they’re drunk.”
Like the song says, “Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alocohol…”
I feel a bit lighter today… I’m still afraid to wake up the ghost, but it feels less powerful, less monstrous. And maybe I should stop tiptoeing and start walking boldly past those long ago needs.
I won’t drink again.
Sleep nice monster, sleep…
Today I’m not drinking because I’m no longer demonizing booze.
How come you’re not drinking?