The God of Wine and Rage

Fruit of the vine…

I have always known Dionysus was the god of wine and fertility, but the other day I was like, “Wait. Why don’t I know more about the Greek god of wine?” and I did a little research, and Dionysus’s story reads like a boozer’s memoir. He was the product of an affair: his father Zeus visited his mortal mother Semele in the dark of night for a little somethin’ somethin’ and when she insisted she wanted to actually see who she was making sweet love to (sounds like she was a bit of a drinker herself…), she burnt to a crisp and died. Sometimes it’s better to just gather your things and sneak out, right?

The plot is actually a bit thicker than that – Zeus’s wife Hera (jealous as a jackal) is the one who went to poor mortal Semele and planted the seed, whispering in her ear, “So – you let this big, god guy into your bed every night and you’ve never even seen him?” She knew that mortals could have great sex with gods, but as soon as they dared to take a gander, it was burn city…

Anyhoo, with his mom a crispy critter, Dionysus had to be worn on Zeus’s thigh until he was ready to be born (don’t ask). I’m sure Zeus was a distant father – and Hera was like a dog with a sock about the infidelity, and had him torn to pieces by the Titans… a classic childhood of abuse and neglect. Rhea brought him back to life, he was raised in the foster care of some wood nymphs and understandably, when he was old enough, Dionysus started a cult and wandered the world: a lesser god who drank way too much and hung with a bad crowd.

Oh, and he had the Maenads – wild women, dressed in politically incorrect, fawn skin and “flush with wine” who (get this) carried rods tipped with pinecones. While all the other gods had temples, Dionysus was worshipped in the woods. His followers would get drunk, go into a state of ecstasy and madness and rip apart any woodland creatures unfortunate enough to cross their paths – eating them raw with the kind of zeal Lauren and her friends dive into Taco Bell nachos, on the nights I pick them up from the bars…

I can’t stand it that I have not known about all this before. After all, D was a god after my own heart – the god of fertility and viticulture, and later, with the Festival of Dionysus, he was considered a patron of all the arts. But he and his followers had the fatal flaw all heavy wine drinkers seem to have – a dual nature.

Dionysus brought unfettered joy and divine ecstasy, but he also brought brutal and blinding rage.