The best way to quit drinking, is to look at a photo of yourself…

I Dated Captain Ron for Three Years

     …when you were drunk.  The difference between what you thought you looked like and what you really looked like is marked.  To put it mildly.

     In the movie “One Hour Photo” the creepy Robin Williams character says, “No one takes a picture of something they want to forget.”  What if someone else takes the picture?  With the coming of smart phones, the instant-ness of internet publishing, and the terrifying lack of content control, there are a lot of DRINKIN’ folks out there who beg to differ, Robin.

     After two bottles of wine, I forget to hold my stomach in, and I look demonically thrilled.  Also, something happens to my hair.  I tend to drape myself familiarly atop total strangers (or those who wish they were).  The resultant photographs are ghastly.

      I am relatively vain.  I think of myself as well-preserved and good looking, but my beauty regimen goes to Hell in a Louis Vuitton handbag when I drink too much.  I have BRAVELY selected three photos to illustrate this fact.  I have deliberately kept them small so you won’t turn to STONE…

     In the first photo, I look a little too EXCITED to be with that buff, black dude.

     In the second photo, I can tell i’m about to say something clever – just a little too loud.

     In the third photo, I look like I’m getting cues from someone off-stage while I strangle a small Bahamian woman. 

     Nuff’ said.

Today I’m not drinking because: I really can’t stomach the photos, and I want to forget

How come you’re not drinking?