Tag Archives: laughter

An Alcoholic Walks Into a Pain Doc’s Office…

Lest you think I am starting the new year with a bad attitude, I’m here to tell you I woke up full of piss and vinegar. That could be because I am actually on steroids. I went to an orthopedic surgeon yesterday, convinced I had bone cancer, only to find that the radiating pain in […]

What Did You Do On Your (Sober) Summer Vacation?

bahama

A few short years ago, the month of August would have been like every other month. I would have woken in a tangle of sheets, maybe bloody (certainly besmirched) with nausea rising in my throat and no memory of how I got the abrasions on my knees. Read it and weep… I’d reach over to […]

Four Years Sober – Four Things I Know For Sure

My four year sober anniversary came in like a lamb. I only remembered it, because Lauren sent me a text to congratulate me.  And other than being a mother (and for a while a wife) I haven’t maintained interest in many things for four years straight, so I should have been jazzed. Maybe the milestone fizzled […]

Moving the Shot Glass Collection Again…

I told Christine that I had just experienced the “move from hell.” She said, “Your last move was ‘the move from hell’ wasn’t it?” Which is kind of true, but also made me feel like my horrible moves are somehow my fault. As if I don’t have the moxie to pack my own belongings, or the […]

When the BIG Decision is Prompted By Something Small

In the end, the reason I decided to move was because of a shower curtain rod. There were lots of reasons I can list, now that the decision is made, for leaving my apartment. It was expensive. Especially given its (admittedly groovy) industrial, proletariat vibe. I never saw anyone in the halls and isolation is not good for my […]

It’s a Sign From Above to Quit Drinking (or Duck)!

It’s spring in Michigan and I work in one of those old buildings that have trouble shifting from winter steam heat to AC. And it’s been so gorgeous outside, that natural air is what I’m after. So, I tried to open my office window.  But, I work in one of those old buildings that have storm […]

The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling! (Things Happen, But It’s All Good…)

In The Bahamas they have an expression, “Things happen.” Those two little words seem to sum up the national psyche. They explain away all of life’s travails in the islands. The expression “things happen,” covers everything from the inappropriate behavior on a drunken night, to the irrevocable destruction of  force majeure. The words are uttered […]

What if Quitting Drinking Doesn’t Stick the First (Fifth, Tenth) Time You Try?

Try, try again… Get ready – I’m about to use climbing mountains as a metaphor for quitting drinking again. I can’t help myself, it’s too symbolic. Especially since the first time I tried to climb the “big hill” on my vacation in Puerto Rico last week, I failed. Let me explain. The road to get to the […]

Ignoring Your Better Judgment or What’s Done is Done, Warren…

Did anyone else see a befuddled Warren Beatty ignoring his better judgment last night at the Oscars? The entire world watched as he looked down at the red envelope, seemed confused, looked to a clueless audience for divine counsel and relinquished the decision to reveal the winner of the “Best Picture” award to Faye Dunaway.  Faye, with complete confidence (which was […]

What Could Have Been. Don’t Go There, My Sober Friends

In the movie La La Land, there is a “what could have been” scene.  And by the time you get there, you are so enthralled with the connection between the main characters, you can’t help but hope the real outcome is some cheesy, cinematic trick. A dream sequence, perhaps? Anything, so the beloved couple really does give […]