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Ignoring Your Better Judgment or What’s Done is Done, Warren…

Ignoring Your Better Judgment or What’s Done is Done, Warren…

Ignoring Your Better Judgment or What’s Done is Done, Warren…

Did anyone else see a befuddled Warren Beatty ignoring his better judgment last night at the Oscars? The entire world watched as he looked down at the red envelope, seemed confused, looked to a clueless audience for divine counsel and relinquished the decision to reveal the winner of the “Best Picture” award to Faye Dunaway.  Faye, with complete confidence (which was what Warren was desperately seeking), skimmed the card, skipped over the words “Emma Stone” and announced the only thing left that made sense, “La La Land!” Which was wrong. Moonlight was the actual winner…


After that, there was pandemonium on stage as the wrong people gave acceptance speeches and the right folks sat in their seats. Flushed clerks rushed in from backstage. Out of the kerfuffle came a voice of reason, and while we all watched with hands over our mouths, La La Land producer Jordon Horowitz let the Moonlight cast and crew know they had won. It was not a joke. There was a moment when everyone was on stage. The correct people took the Oscars out of the hands of the duped apologetically.  Warren stood in the middle of the fray with a ghastly smile. The host, Jimmy Kimmel, took full responsibility. And a wrong was righted. Sort of.


What’s done is done…

I’m not sure why I am feeling like it’s Warren Beatty’s fault. I mean what about Price Waterhouse, with that suitcase their snooty representative sports, chained to his arm? As if he’d sooner lose a limb than allow the envelopes with the indisputable winners of the Oscars to fall into the wrong hands. As if PwC staff are incapable of human error. What about Faye Dunaway, who vaporized after announcing the wrong winner?


But why, I wonder, in a rather loose Academy Awards, where it would have been cool to say, “Um, this envelope seems to contain results we already gave out…” did an old trooper like Mr. Beatty freeze? I call it “ignoring your better judgment”. Something alcoholics know all about. You could see it on his face. A desperate need to understand, to make things right and then – against his gut – capitulation. Hoping for the best, even though he knew it was going to end badly.


The whole thing reminds me of you when you were drinking…

Kim called me this morning and she said the whole mess reminded her of something I would have done when I was drinking. And she’s right. But I probably wouldn’t have cared. Or remembered. And I would have disappeared long before old Faye hightailed it into the safety of the wings.  Now that I’m sober (and after Kim reminded me of what a lout I used to be), I thought about the lessons that could be learned from last night’s Oscar debacle. Good advice for those who are new to sobriety. Good advice for all of us.


What I Learned from Warren Beatty last night:

  1. Do Not Ignore Your Better Judgment: Come on – we learned this in self defense class – if it feels weird, wrong or icky – it is. Look behind you.
  2. Have a Contingency Plan: Do not assume that everything is going to go according to plan “A”.  If you have unearthed yourself from obscurity to give an award in front of 7 zillion people, double and triple check what to do in case of an emergency.
  3. Take Responsibility: There were a few people who stood there and took it like troopers last night. Humor and good grace are always helpful in difficult situations. And so is a partner who pulls her weight…
  4. Apologize: It was really unfair to the Moonlight folks to win the highest award in such a shabby way. They deserved a heart felt apology from everyone involved.
  5. What’s Done is Done: If disaster befalls, even after following the four steps above, let it go. (And do not, under any circumstances, look at your Twitter account).


Today I’m not drinking because it’s against my better judgment…


How come you’re not drinking?


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Comments (3)

  1. Avatar
    can I tell you something?
    Feb 28, 2017

    The edge of a cliff huh? A lot happens at that edge of a cliff. You scream, you cry, you decide do I run backwards or forwards (wherever that might take you), you talk it out and talk to the past, you talk to God, you look at that hand in yours and know where you are here, then you cry even more. But something happens at that cliff. When you think you can’t stand it any more you drop down on your knees and something happens. You feel the wind, the sun shine , the coldness, the moment of peace and you give in. You look up and see the horizon that line between water and air and heaven and earth. You see the beauty and know your smallness. You know someone else made that beauty so you hold that hand next to you turn and walk away. Until you need the cliff the next time. Does this make sense?

    • Marilyn
      Feb 28, 2017

      It makes you feel very small and very large at the same time. I do not go close to the edge any more. Ever.

      • Avatar
        Feb 28, 2017

        I think I won’t go so close to the cliff for awhile. I think my screams were heard. You know what Miss Marilyn I feel closer to you than I have in a long long time. Maybe breaking opened helped, I don’t know.
        Who knew silence in your head could scream so loud?
        I feel ready to write now. I am getting stronger.
        This is and will always be Ellie, the daughter that was always loved by her dad Nick.

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