This may sound insane coming from someone who tells her “One time, I ended up knee deep…” stories, but I am impressed and awed by the people I know who get sober quietly.
Yesterday I got a Facebook message from an old friend who said, “I’m 30 days sober today. I’ve been going to AA four times a week. You are helping. Thank you.” That was it. I knew he was struggling, but I did not know he had decided to quit and the note was so bland I wanted more for him. A bouquet of balloons (which he’d hate) or at least some exclamation points!! I’m 30 days sober!! Whoopee!!!
Then I got an email from a sober client who talked about his plans for the day and what he was making for dinner and he ended with a benign, “I’m seven weeks sober…” the three dots trailing off mysteriously as if they too were looking for an exclamation point. Hell yes, I’ve been keeping track! Congratulations!
I have a quietly sober friend, who is super organized and she’s this doyen of Jacksonville society and she sends me ideas for the blog and the addresses of special meetings. I can’t even read the AA schedule without breaking out in a sweat. The Teetotalers are meeting at the YMCA at 5 or 7 on Monday, but Monday’s Children are doing a women’s meeting there on Wednesday at noon. Huh? Maybe if I just stand in the parking lot and wait for a crowd to gather… Anyway, she quietly helps me.
So this morning I would like to acknowledge all those people I know and love who are quietly sober (you know who you are) and also those I don’t know. The thing about being quietly awesome, is that no one runs up to you and says, “Thank you!” or “You’re so brave!” or “You are my hero!” or “Your honesty is so refreshing!” It’s like Superman – working a 9 to 5, wearing horn-rims and a dress shirt.
But it’s hard work getting sober. It’s soul searching work, and sometimes it’s lonely. Quiet or not, the most interesting people are those who have struggled and suffered and craved and conquered.
The ones who have fought their demons and won. So to all of you:
Best Wishes! Complements! Felicitations! Congratulations!!!