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My (Short-Lived) Sober Facebook Love Affair

My (Short-Lived) Sober Facebook Love Affair

My (Short-Lived) Sober Facebook Love Affair

gua

I like to take long walks on beaches… Guana? Gambia? Let’s call the whole thing off…

 

You probably already know this, but some guys use Facebook as a dating site. I get Facebook requests for “Friends” and notes from strangers who think my profile picture is “pretty” all the time. I used to agree to all takers for “Friend requests”, thinking I had met them in an online alcohol group or through this blog. I was hoping to expand my readership.

 

But all you have to do is misstep once with a Facebook friend and you are wary ever after. Closing one’s eyes, pushing the “accept” and trusting the universe is never wise. Especially considering there are 1.2 billion active Facebook users and it only stands to reason there are probably a few who do not have the discrete sensibilities and Facebook decorum you expect from your posse.

 

What happens with a friend mistake is one of three things:

  • You are inundated with political conviction
  • You find a tagged advertisement (or ten) for beauty unguents on your personal page
  • You suddenly see every photo that has ever been posted of yourself on your Facebook feed (including your profile pic) go by with the chirpy words, “Hot girl!” or “When are we getting together?” penned by your new friend. So you unfriend him and stop the madness.

 

I was checking the stats on one of our posts yesterday and I had a private FB message that said, “U there boss?” The author’s photograph shows him pouting into an obvious selfie with a gold headband (a la Tupac) and large, primitive beads around his neck – there are library books on high shelves behind him. I did a little research and he is already a friend although I do not remember making his acquaintance (perhaps it was done in the same white wine, memory-black-hole in which I bought an English Bulldog puppy on line…). He is from Gambia.

 

For some reason I liked the message so I said, “Yup.” I figured that was in keeping with the short but sweet question he had posed.

 

What came next was a series of thumbs up graphics and questions where the word “you” was spelled “U” as in “U miss on line why” – a sentence I did not, for the life of me, know how to answer.

 

I was having fun with it, he is apparently an artist and some sort of cultural attaché… until he said, “U can visit me over here.”

 

In GAMBIA? That’s the problem with sobriety. It makes you practical. And wary of “friends” offering to show you their childrens’ library in far away places… I am laughing as I type this because there was a time in my life (not too long ago) when I would think nothing of pursuing this endangerment.  Kim and Dee would be on the phone together saying, “Oh God – now she’s bought a first class ticket to Gambia …” 

 

And I’d be up for the adventure. No thought of the consequences. But here I sit thinking I have too much to do to give this little diversion more than the ten minutes of my life already spent. That’s the beauty of sobriety: the checks and balances, the appropriate level of caution. The practicality. Although, I don’t think I’ll unfriend him yet…

 

I had a message all the way from Gambia this morning. It said, “Morning U beautiful girl.”

 

I’ll bet he says that to all his “Friends”…

 

Today I’m not drinking because I kind of like my newfound caution…

 

 

How come you’re not drinking?

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Comments (10)

  1. Avatar
    Kim
    Apr 13, 2016

    The greatest gift your sobriety has yielded is that the word CAUTION, has finally registered in your heart and mind.

    Love you Mare, and I miss you terribly but at least you are just in Grand Rapids, not Gambia!

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Apr 13, 2016

      He’s kind of cute…
      Love,
      Mare

  2. Avatar
    Sarah
    Apr 13, 2016

    Bad decisions make good stories…..

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Apr 13, 2016

      Always. They always make good stories. Especially on the other end (not while in the middle of the muddle….)
      XXXOOO
      M

  3. Avatar
    Rosalind
    Apr 13, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    I might sign up for facebook and meet a creeper 😮
    Now this is a funny story and it has a happy ending, not a crazy one at all. Although your faithful readers can only imagine the tales you could tell if you really had boarded that plane for Gambia 🙂
    You might consider writing hilarious, on the edge fiction stories in your spare time – ha! Key word = fiction.
    You do have a gift for spinning a yarn, Marilyn!

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Apr 15, 2016

      It does make me smile to think about. And it makes me feel proud that I was not tempted at all. Great to hear from you!
      XXXOOO
      M

  4. Avatar
    Tim S
    Apr 13, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    I'm not drinking because I got the hell off Facebook.
    Reason #638 why I disentangled from Facebook a year and a half ago. It’s tough sometime (like when you know number 2 grandchild has got pictures up of her new boyfriend), and FB goes to great lengths to trick one into accidentally reactivating one’s account that one believes one has deleted, but for me, it’s allowed me to “know a new freedom and a new happiness.”

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Apr 15, 2016

      Not ready to do that yet. And it is a good resource to get the word out. But I understand that life is probably happier without social media’s yoke…
      XXXOOO
      M

  5. Avatar
    Simon
    Apr 13, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    A msg from Nigeria
    Mama I dig ya blond locks yea
    Like a wizard u come across
    Always scribing an jiving miss
    U are da stress I miss
    Miss, miss carry on
    I really dig ya dear
    All smothered black
    In ya garb gear dear
    Dearest Miss Write
    Carry on

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