I Guess I’m a Dry Drunk…


Isn’t it inviting?

…or experiencing sobriety but not recovery, because I’ll be damned if I didn’t get hit hard with a craving for alcohol yesterday.

What is it about airports?

I almost didn’t write about this, because it is repulsive to me. I have not had a drink for fifteen months and I would like to put my alcoholism neatly behind me like Satan. Those of you in RECOVERY are nodding your heads like wise sages right now, but I honestly feel this is not fair.

I was walking through the Chicago airport and I saw the bar pictured above in the distance like a false mirage. All of a sudden, the idea came into my head to go to an airport hotel and order up a couple bottles of wine from room service. I didn’t get a craving to have a drink at the bar, but the pretty green lights and the chandeliers made of wine glasses triggered something ugly. And I’m not talking about a passing fancy…

Can you imagine? I think people fall off the wagon that spectacularly. I’m supposed to arrive in Jacksonville at 4 PM, Kim is there to pick me up and I just don’t show because I’m in a dark hotel room with a depleted mini bar. And the waiter is wondering when the party is going to start in room 1103 because he’s just delivered four bottles of wine and a sampler platter of cheeses and crackers…

I didn’t do it, but I wanted to and apparently in the judgy, poopy, lofty RECOVERY world, that is wrong. A harbinger of horrible things to come.

I’m so bored with it all (and I know that’s probably a red flag too).

Today I’m not drinking because it’s repulsive to me

How come you’re not drinking?