Dealing With Difficult People. Sober.


Sober Mare ready to deal with life’s bullies… Once again, the art of Tim Burton is worth a thousand words…


Have you ever had to deal with a truly difficult person? I am assuming this scenario only occurs in a setting where you need something from someone – or when the difficult person is in charge – otherwise you would issue a curt, “F— You, douche wipe,” or some other nonsensical string of insults, and walk away in a huff.


Yesterday I worked with a number of fair-minded people – I had a meeting with an attractive guy who heads up the addiction outreach program at my new church, I communicated with the many commenters on the blog – some who did not agree with all my musings on the subject of: “Recovered v Recovering“, I had work-related and water-cooler conversation with the people in my office, I arranged to have a surfeit of appliances picked up and delivered from various locals, I advised Lauren, had lunch with Kim and conducted a scratchy, international call with Lisa.  All successful exchanges with reasonable people.


There is one guy I deal with however, who is an overstuffed bag of dicks.


When I was drinking, dealing with the rare impossible person was easy. I never cared enough to be  hurt, and I walked around with a simmering anger I was happy to unleash on the unsuspecting or the deserving. I’d have a bottle or two of wine, and confront  my nemesis like a gun slinger filled with liquid bravado. These days I am more vulnerable: less of a worthy opponent to the schoolyard (jobsite) bully.


I have found it does not help to try to understand the difficult person, or to suck up, ignore or take notes. It does not help to be snooty or threaten to “report back” or even be more competent – God knows NOONE can do it better than this tough guy…


Here’s what I have decided to do – BE A LADY. Don’t you love it? I’m just going to be a lady about all this. I am going to do my job in the most seemly way I can possibly muster, sober and righteous. I am also quietly hoping, when the project is over and we don’t need him anymore, that he dies a VERY painful death…


Today I’m not drinking because I am being ladylike.

How come you’re not drinking?