Sad, stalker shoes… Help. I looked at a pair of boots on Zappos a few days ago, and now whenever I go onto Facebook, a picture of the same boots pops up on the right side of the feed. How does it know? Then yesterday I was researching something for this blog and right before […]
Category Archives: Sobriety
Lauren’s photo of a humiliated (if festive) Fiona… Remember the scene in the movie The Grinch when he cries with happiness and reaches up with a hairy green hand to feel the tears on his face with surprise and wonder? Then he calls his dog and says, “Come here Max, I LOVE YA!” When the […]
Lord willing and the crick don’t rise… Yesterday morning Lauren got up, looked out of the window at the rain and said, “I hope the creek doesn’t rise…” It sounded funny coming out of her mouth, proper English and all, but the fact is, we have a new thing to worry about. According to neighbor […]
This is not my neighborhood. Can you image coming home drunk to this place? It reminds me of the theme song to Weeds… I met my neighbor yesterday. It was one of those weird encounters where I wandered into his yard looking for Fiona and we ended up giving each other the short version of […]
Sirens on the island of the Lotus Eaters… It’s a little dangerous for me to go through old photographs. The ones of The Bahamas still give me a punch in the gut. It’s like looking at photos of the happy times with the boyfriend you adored, who was wrong for you (I have one of […]
I didn’t write for a couple of days because I was busy. I was working. I was decorating Lisa’s house for Christmas – hauling poinsettias and wrapping sprigs of holly around bannisters like the Grinch when he brought the gifts back… When I wasn’t working, I was waiting in the hospital for Kim to have a […]
Porno from my collection – Eve by Altay Sadigzade For many years I was an art dealer in Jacksonville, Florida. I owned a gallery called Spiller Vincenty with Kim, and we began by importing post-Glasnost Russian art. It was the first generation of art to emerge from the former Soviet Union after the government disbanded their system of recognizing […]
They’re Anthropology pajama pants – I KNOW you want them… It’s 7 AM and I have done all my chores. I have cleaned the kitchen, bagged the recyclables, walked three dogs (more on that another day…), swept up five dustpans full of dirt on the kitchen floor and “organized” the kitchen for what I assume […]
Where I was… The title is not a metaphor, or a reference to my ass… Yesterday I called my son Jonathan to say, “I’m on the way to your house. Oh, and I have a bag of garbage in the trunk.” Jon Jon is the only person I know who would not only empathize with that statement, […]
I would not be honest If I didn’t tell you I have cooked most of my Thanksgiving dinners drunk. In the old days, while I was preparing things in the early morning hours, I’d pop a bottle of champers and drink it mixed with juice while I worked. When the bottle of champagne was gone, […]