Cat Lady


Cats (like toddlers) are always most adorable when they are sleeping… this is Lauren’s Vincent.


A few years ago I was at a party talking to Susan, and I told her that if I ever became one of those women of a certain age, who wore clothing emblazoned with fauna, to kill me. You know what I’m talking about, right?  Adult women dressed like giant toddlers with angora kittens knitted onto their cardigans and ankle socks with a smattering of paw prints, as if a tiny, dirty dog has been walking all over them?


I was probably in my cups. I probably said it too loudly. If I offended anyone at the gathering I am sorry, but I stand firm. Do not wear cats or dogs (or even horses) on your clothing if you are over the age of ten.


I did not know Susan well in my drinking days. And my humor was more mean spirited then, so I probably took her off guard. Imagine, you’re at a pleasant gathering, minding your own business at the punch bowl, when a tipsy blonde dressed all in black glides up, sloshing white wine over the top of her glass onto your Tory Burch loafer and says, “Maybe I’m not a dog person, or a cat person either, but what’s with these women who wear wildlife on their clothing?”


It is a credit to Susan (and one of the reasons we have become friends now that I am sober) that she laughed. In fact a few days later I got an “anonymous” package with a pair of those horrific socks with toes, decorated with paw prints…


Yesterday I got a note from Susan that said, “Working on the website and went to “My Pictures” to find an image of a product I needed and happened to notice this interesting photo labeled “cats for Marilyn.”  I guess I intended to torture you with cat things forever after your comment at Kim’s that night?”




What goes around, comes around…

Today I’m not drinking because I want to be more personable


How come you’re not drinking?