Oh for God’s sake – I’m not going to KILL MYSELF… This is my gun though and I know how to use it.
I’m feeling like I’m feeling this morning and I am wondering why. It’s Halloween, it’s raining and I’m sorely disappointed. When I look in the mirror it’s not me looking back. My limbs feel distant and my guts have gone north (threatening to come out of my mouth for a real Holiday surprise…). I feel like I’m in a dark well with slippery sides, not even trying to find a way up.
Need I say more? I guess Halloween is a trigger?
Promises Rehab Center says, “What triggers a relapse will be different depending on the individuals, but there are some commonalities. Emotional factors are important, for example. Stress, fear, frustration, depression, anxiety, and other emotions can lead to a relapse because using drugs or alcohol represents a coping mechanism.”
Add to the list above: every picture I see of me in a costume brings back the taste of white wine and the memory of splendor. What I had. What I lost…
I’ll be okay. I won’t drink. But the pain I’m feeling cannot be denied. This is one of the hard times I’ve heard about…
Happy Halloween!!!
Today I’m not drinking because I am mixing memory with desire…
How come you’re not drinking?
