Time Drinkers (Anonymous)


From Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland – He’s always LATE…


I woke up this morning with nothing to say. Have you ever had that happen to you? Your noggin feels swollen: like it’s padded with black cotton wool, nothing in there but fluff.


So I Googled “What are all the anonymous groups” and suddenly I’m full of ideas. There are the expected Clutterers Anonymous (although if I were in charge I would have used the more familiar “hoarders”), Heroin, Cocaine, Pills…  But did you know there is an On-line Gamers Anonymous, six variations of Sex-related Anonymous, and my favorite: Underearners Anonymous?


Who came up with this awkward, underachieving, spellcheck alerting, compound word? And their literature says they also call themselves “time drunks”, so I favor Procrastinators Anonymous or just the lyrical handle, “Time Drinkers” (which is also an excellent band name).


I went to the Underearners Anonymous website. It was (as you would expect) a Spartan affair – the simple, rounded letters “U A” as a logotype, nothing flowery in the verbiage.  This is how the Underearners describe themselves:

Underearning is many things, not all of which are about money. While the most visible consequence is the inability to provide for one’s needs, including future needs, underearning is also about the inability to fully acknowledge and express our capabilities and competencies. It is about underachieving, or under-being, no matter how much money we make.


Isn’t this just the bailiwick of inspirational speakers? Urging us to reach our potential, express our capabilities and achieve greatness? Now I’m dying to go to a meeting, but the closest ones are Boulder, Colorado; somewhere in Vermont or (get this) Berlin, Germany. Can you imagine the stigma of being an underachieving Berliner?


Have a great day. I’m off – time’s a wasting. And actually, it is all about the money…


Today I’m not drinking because I do not want to be an underearner. Yes, spellcheck it’s a word…

How come you’re not drinking?