The Subtle Stages of Recovery

So, you’re at a fireworks display and you’re going to buy light sabers and glow sticks?

“Pink Cloud” is the tem used in the recovery community for the sense of false euphoria one feels in the early stages of sobriety. I am still waiting for that to happen. I have felt nostalgic, blue, satisfied, enthused, disappointed, cheerful and blasé in the past two years, but never elated about my newfound sober life…

I was telling my mother (who as mothers do, had just said I looked “fabulous” and I was more “fun and engaged” than I’d been in years) that in the same way addiction has its stages, recovery seems to have its stages too. I do feel like I’ve had a recent breakthrough. I feel like myself again. Happy, but in a non-pink-cloud sort of way…

It was the 4th of July holiday, so I’ll liken it to fireworks. I feel happy – not with a bang like the grand finale over the Saginaw River, or a whimper like the light saber cart…

I just feel sort of happy.