The Rest of My (Sober) Life…


So many Sunday mornings when I was in active addiction, I would wake with a sense of dread. I’d feel hung and a little uneasy about what I had done the night before. There would be this wash of what can only be described as shame – and the overwhelming question, “What are you going to do with the rest of your life?”

I believe these sorts of “God Questions” happen only at 3 a.m. or when one’s eyes open on a censorious Sunday morning. I would run through my mind what I should do: lose 10 pounds, go to church, go for a run (I am not a runner in the best of times), call my mother, give my liver a rest… And more often than not, I would lay there for a minute and then I’d reach for the remains of last night’s glass of wine and start the process all over again. I have learned that in the late stages of my alcoholism, I didn’t really have a choice in the matter, even though I was stressed about my lack of motivation. My addiction was running the show…

So here I am on a cold Sunday morning, bright as a button and getting ready to drive up north to Sturgeon Bay and hike the trails along Lake Michigan. When I woke this morning, I was guiltless. There was nothing undone. Isn’t that incredible?

It’s Sunday morning, so I’ll say it, “Thank God for my wonderful life. Thank God for my sobriety.”

Today I’m not drinking because it is SO nice to wake on a Sunday morning without shame.

How come you’re not drinking?