Sometimes the best thing to do is shut up and let the wisest person in the room speak. I have a 13 year old friend named Ellie who is one of the smartest, bravest people I know. Her dad Nick was also my friend, and the bond we shared and the runaway triumphs we achieved together over alcoholism and adversity, are testaments to the power of words, the necessity of community and the overwhelming strength of love.
Ellie and Evie are the children of alcoholism, but they are also the children of hope. Their deep-thinking innocence, and their ability to navigate the exigencies of addiction with dignity, is a tribute to the memory of their remarkable father. Kim always says, “Let your misery become your mission,” and girls I know it’s been tough, but if you can continue to see outside yourself, feel with others the way you do and advocate for those who suffer with such compassion, there is light at the end of this dark tunnel you have walked…
I love you.
Ellie’s “Comment” on the blog yesterday:
My name is Ellie. I am Nick’s daughter. I pleaded to Miss Marilyn to keep this essay and movie up this weekend (<click here) I want people to watch it.
My dad, Nick, was an alcoholic. My dad drank too much because my mom and baby Grayson died. But alcoholic is only one word my dad was. He was the best dad in the world, best husband to my mom, kind, funny, loyal, honest, quiet, inventor, thinker, and loving.
My dad drank because he got sad. But he got help and stopped. He found people who helped him, he found the blog, and he hired Miss Marilyn to be his sober coach. I think people drink for different reasons. But underneath the reasons are really special people. When my dad was sober it was like the sky still had clouds but less and the Sun rays could come through And I loved him sober. I thank god my dad got happy and sober and loved living. I want people to know this. He stopped. He found help. He really worked hard but he reached out to people.
There are other Ellie’s and Evies’s out there. Kids and friends who want their mom or dad or friends sober. People can help each other. Help each other. Be there for each other. Be a motivator to help someone stop drinking. Be a friend to help someone stop or be the listener to help someone stop. Read the blog. Write to each other here. I loved my dad as an alcoholic and sober. But time with him was better sober. I wish you all could have met my dad sober. He was the best dad and person in the world. Please learn from my dad. Be there for each other. Support each other here. Being a sober parent or friend is hard but I was so glad I had that time with my dad. Thank you all for supporting my dad here.
Miss Marilyn I love you. My dad loved you too. Thanks for helping so many people. You are right it is about reaching out and helping. Thanks for helping me and Evie all the time too.
And now I’m crying. Thank you for this gift Ellie and for the gift of your (and Evie’s) friendship. I am a better person for knowing you both…
Today I’m not drinking because Ellie is my sober coach…
How come you’re not drinking?