You know I get the occasional troll who says mean things for no apparent reason, right? Well my filter also catches those people in foreign countries who are trying to sell me something or gobble up my mailing list or well, actually I am not quite sure what they are after. But the earnest, broken English, Czechoslovakian-brother’s attempts at convincing me are very funny.
I wrote a post about it last year, and I still find these communiqués hilarious because it is obvious someone’s trying to pull a fast one, but it never translates properly from the Latvian or Russian or Chinese or wherever these scammers learned their first language. So I updated last year’s post with some new funny ones and I am starting my day laughing (and with a yen to buy a $996 Moncler jacket – yes I looked it up and I wonder if the Moncler folks know the Ruskies are hawking their wares to unsuspecting sobriety bloggers…).
Blog Hawkers/Stalkers 2015:
As an individual staying warm, you are likely get some compliments. You could find the kind of style enjoy as there are may designs that make use of to choose from. Some people love these jackets a great deal of that when they can no longer wear them when the weather conditions gets hot, they purchase Moncler jacket. Basically, you can stay fashion all year long! Montcler jacket is our magic weapon to become beautiful. The really commendable! So why, why France has so great glamour?
This one gets poetic:
Women around the world like to look great. In order to look good, consider they will need to have clothes appear good and which is true. So that you can look professional, you can’t simply wear sweatpants, are you able to? You have to go all out and wear a professional outfit. The cold months are starting out move in and the time has come to start shopping in a nice dress. You should order the jacket so that the cold months set in so which you stay warm all winter long. If you want to stay warm, that does not mean you have to sacrifice the design and style. The truth is that detectors that can detect jackets allow keep you warm and looking good at the same time. Take a look at the cheap Moncler womens jackets and you exactly the thing we are discussing. Moncler jacket, special attributes. Moncler jacket is colored to match your mood and design and are perfect to assist. They sleep during a bitter winter white…
And here’s the post from October 2014:
This morning when I signed on to write today’s post, I had 52 Comments from my cyber-stalker. Somehow a spam-like thingy has attached itself to my blog and every day I get a batch of annoyances that look like comments on a long ago blog post. We tried to get rid of it by adding security software to the blog, but then Laura sent a perfectly nice comment and got a nasty-gram from WordPress scolding her for sending “spam”. So we took it off and I am left with the administrative hassle of deleting what appears to be Russian junk mail.
I don’t know what they WANT. It’s like getting a ransom note saying, “WE HAVE YOUR WIFE!” without any instructions as to how to get her back. I think they want me to click on the listed email address with ill intent… I never click on internet popups or errant email addresses anymore (embarrassing porn-related lessons learned) and these comments are as suspicious as they are funny.
Here is an example:
Hi there i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere
when i read this piece of writing i thought i could also make comment due to this
sensible paragraph.
Russian is the first language, right? This is the kind of writing that makes me cringe and look for a red pen. I picture a room full of would-be internet crooks in the shadow of the Kremlin, trying to write enticements in broken English (with no Russian equivalent for the phrase “blog post”) and wondering why their plot is going awry.
Here’s another one:
Hi my loved one! I wish to say that this article is amazing,
great written and include almost all vital infos.
I would like to look more posts like this.
And my current favorite:
Ahaa, its nice dialogue regarding this article at this place at this weblog dude,
I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.
Why me?
Today I’m not drinking because I am still (in 2015) trying to foil a Russian plot…