Remembering to Be Grateful in Recovery


I was out of sorts yesterday. The weather has taken a turn for the worse here (something I was convinced was going to happen, but still disappointed me when it did). My WordPress training made me anxious.  It was conducted at hyper speed and they kept telling me I was “advanced” when (like Algernon before he keeled over) I wanted more information – and everything I want to do requires programming, not more training on my part. I totally forgot to feel grateful my brain works the way it does.

Then I was running around Grand Rapids in the rain trying to make Easter happen for my kids. This is the first Easter we won’t be together, and I wanted to send their baskets and the makings of an egg hunt with instructions (they cheat). I did not know where the UPS store was, or where to get wrapping paper and a box. I was feeling snippy with God for the soggy collar of my coat…

I found a really seedy liquor store that reeked of stale booze, as if the patrons couldn’t wait to get outside to break the seals. You may ask why I was in a liquor store. I wanted to put a small bottle of Crown in Jon Jon’s basket and for some reason it was imperative that I do that before I sent the box. It is important to note that the store was filled with long term alcoholics: red noses and broken veins and unquiet faces. I didn’t even register the fact I should be grateful I was sober.

I went back to my apartment and yanked apart plastic eggs in a frenzy – dumping the contents and filling them with quarters and dollar bills and the occasional five. I packed the box and trusted Suri to find the closest store to mail things (I did not ask for anyone’s help although everyone I work with has lived in Grand Rapids for years), and ironically, I ended up back at the strip mall with the creepy liquor store.

Work was good, as work always is, and when I got home last night I stopped in my tracks. I put down my bag and felt a wave of gratefulness. I was warm and dry – in a beautiful little apartment with all my things around me. I had sent off the box to my kids and it will arrive on Friday and although I won’t be there, our traditions will.

I stood there feeling happy. And reminded myself to remember not to forget to be grateful.

Today I’m not drinking because I am grateful in recovery.

How come you’re not drinking?