I lived in San Francisco for a few years. I did not leave my heart there. I lived on Knob Hill and other than strolling to the bars along the crest of my neighborhood, any walk, anywhere, was an aerobic nightmare. I often think of the little, old, Chinese ladies in San Francisco, whenever I embark on a difficult journey. They walked up the steep hills from China Town – looking down at their feet, slowly putting one foot in front of the other – heel to toe.
I’ve tried this many times on excruciating hills, while I am hiking. It works. When you are looking down at the simple action, it focuses the task and forces you to forget about the enormity of the job ahead.
It works the same when you’re trying to stop drinking.
Wednesday, I posted a list of the 10 Things I Did to Get Sober. I’d like to add three things to that list with homage to the Nǚshì of San Francisco:
1. Admit You Need to Quit. We all know the alcoholic who denies she drank up the booze, when you mention there was a case of Russian River Chard in the garage and now you can’t find it. Or the one who pretends she remembers buying that round for the entire bar (or a puppy or a fur coat) the night before, asking you to “refresh her memory” about the receipt on the kitchen table…
It took me a long time to honestly admit I needed to quit drinking. It took me another two years of 30 day respites and soul searching to finally get to the point where I really quit. This process is vital (hopefully you will be a faster study than me…). You have to get your mind in the game and picture yourself at the top of that bloody hill.
2. Find a GOOD Addiction. Kim tells me, “It’s not so much that you are an addictive personality, it’s that you always pick the BAD addictions.” Damn straight. One of the things that helped me greatly, when the cravings hit, is my love for the outdoors and hiking. I am communicating with several recovering addicts who run races or cycle. Whether it’s extreme physical activity or knitting or babysitting or mastering the art of hill walking – get addicted to something that makes it hard to drink while doing so…
3. Break it Into Smaller, Achievable Goals. It is overwhelming to think of the entire task at hand. Like standing at the bottom of Russian Hill in stilettos, it seems the best thing to do is call a cab (don’t get on a bus – small Chinese people with live fish in paper bags nestle into your armpits on crowded buses in San Francisco). Tell yourself all you have to do is get through the day (or thirty days) without drinking. Don’t think past that goal.
Now the list is complete. It would have bothered me forever if I hadn’t added these three things. It weighs on my mind that I left Lauren’s house Thursday without making sure the toilet paper was folded into a point, so you can imagine what this oversight would have done to my psyche…
