Nothing like scrounged wood leeks and pinecones to satisfy…
So, after two months of eating lettuce and berries, like a super model (or a foraging freegan), I got to Dee’s last night and said the fatal words, “I feel like being bad.” It’s like somebody opens a floodgate. In my old drinking days, those five words meant something a bit more parlous – involving fast cars, a case of Chardonnay and a group of friendly longshoremen…
These days I head for the kitchen. I have not had processed sugar in more than two months (resisting Walgreens’ candy isle, a dessert buffet in my honor, and the entreaty of every waitress in Michigan to itemize the “yummy dessert specials”). But I opened the freezer and there sitting like the Holy Grail (or the little shoulder-devil who tells you, “Go ahead…” more like), was a box of M&M Ice-cream Cookies.
When I break a fast, I do not mess around. It’s not like a normal human being who is going off their diet – nibbling a high calorie food guiltily. I took a bowl and filled it with chocolate covered pretzels, two chocolate chip cookies and an M&M Ice-cream Cookie. I put another one in my pocket and headed for a back bedroom, like some scavenger dog with a stolen soup bone under the front porch…
Taking it to the limit…
This morning I feel hung over and chagrinned. For me, it’s all or nothing. And for some reason, it’s the bad stuff that wins out when I’m tired or lonely… Which is why I can never, never, never think of having another drink (and I should probably not hang out at the JAXPORT docks)… and why today I am back on a vegetarian diet. It’s all or nothing with me and the ALL is never all it’s cracked up to be.
