Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over!



August 19 – September 7, 2015 – the police are going to crack down on drunk drivers like, well, like super-vigilant police on drunk drivers. And if this promotional photograph is any indication of their tactics, they plan to camouflage their squad cars; painting them like those people who work during Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, blending into brick walls and potted palms until they jump out at you with fake chain saws and make you wonder why you paid  $119.99 to inhale fake smoke and be scared witless…


NHTSA Campaign to Stop Drunk Driving

I love how I get suggestions for blog posts from readers and friends. In this case, I was looking on YouTube for movies of people disinfecting surgical instruments (don’t ask), and I had a message from Kim’s son Jack to tell me the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) is launching a campaign to crack down on drunk driving. Thanks Jack. It starts tomorrow. For more information click HERE.




I am not proud of the fact I used to drive under the influence. And it is no joking matter. 10,000 people a year die in drunk driving accidents and 55% of all fatal car crashes are alcohol related. It is the most preventable of all crimes, yet people still get behind the wheel drunk, instead of calling Uber, or a friend (or me – as you know I am making amends by serving as DD for seemingly all of Jacksonville’s inebriate…).


But I am proud to say, tomorrow, my heart will not give a single pitter-pat when a police car pulls behind me off the highway exit-ramp.


And I’m lying because I’ll be thinking, “Shit – did I pay my insurance? Did I pay that parking ticket? Is my registration expired? Do they give tickets for a burnt out brake light?”


I have learned my lesson. Learn yours. Because they’ll see you before you see them…



The old use confiscated cannabis as camo trick… You’re not even safe in corn fields!


Today I’m not drinking because I will likely serve as DD in the next three weeks!


How come you’re not drinking?