The whoopla on my son’s December 23rd birthday, where the tradition is for me to pour and serve shots of Patron to start the night’s festivities, is not a trigger for me. The way everyone else looks/feels the next morning is enough to make me delighted (and obnoxiously chipper) I drank club soda at the party.
Christmas Eve, when red wine is served with the turkey does not phase me. Nor does Christmas morning, although the mimosas in tall glasses while we open presents, bring back memories of foggy yuletides past… I guess quite a few of our family holiday traditions are mixed with shots or the popping of corks. I guess they will remain that way, even though I don’t drink anymore.
Speaking of which, I woke this morning with absolutely nothing to report. I hosted Jon Jon’s birthday party and it was a complete success. I went to Lauren’s for Christmas and we slept together for the first time in years. I drank gassy water and had a wonderful time. There was no drama, no arguments (other than which Christmas movie to watch – Diehard or The Muppets Christmas Carol…) and no unnecessary nostalgia for alcohol or anything else…
The holidays are good benchmarks – a time to assess ourselves and make plans for a better future. This may be the first holiday of my life I am actually self-satisfied. That is not to say I do not want more in the new year or that I do not want to be successful in everything I try in 2016 or that I am not going to try with all my might. It means that at this moment, I am happy with my accomplishments.
Lauren gave me a little purse to put pens and pencils in (I can never find anything to write with). It says on the front: MISTAKES ARE JUST PROOF THAT I’M TRYING. God knows (and Lauren knows) how hard I am trying… And Jon Jon wrote a note on my Christmas card – he said, “I am so proud of you for the 180 you have done on your life – I hope you know we will support you wholeheartedly with whatever is to come…”
Who knows what is to come? But I’m excited to find out. And I am proof that flaws and all, overwhelming love and support and hard work can turn a life around.