Blame it on the Alcohol, Ladies…

horny

 

… or the Bossa Nova. This tendency we have to blame it on something other than ourselves. It wasn’t me. The devil made me do it. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol. Have you ever read the lyrics to that song?

Blame it on the goose
Got you feeling loose
Blame it on Patron
Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the vodka
Blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue top
Got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

I’m  going to dare to say it. EVERY woman who is an alcoholic has blamed it on the alcohol at one time or another. And there is not a single alcoholic woman I have met, who has not made a sexual misstep. Inappropriate flirting at the office Christmas party or with someone else’s husband or wife; waking in a dark room with a dark stranger; making out in a horrific show of PDA with someone who is not your significant other; choosing the exact wrong partner…There is nothing so sloppy or so pliant as a drunk woman (sorry…).

 

Let’s face it, alcohol makes you horny and hungry and uninhibited. I am not talking about the Slut Walk movement, okay? I am not talking about rape or victimization (that is for another post). I am talking about the choices we make when we are in our cups and why alcohol is to blame. The scientists at Penn State say, “Alcohol disrupts the normal flow of neurotransmitters across the cortex’s synaptic connections, and we enter an altered state. The first thing we lose at this stage are our inhibitions which our sober cortex would usually keep in check. Then we become more talkative and our better judgment begins to leave.”

 

That’s the point when the biker dude at the next bar table starts looking like the man of your dreams, right? The U. S. National Library of Medicine (yes I read stuff..) says something very interesting in a study they conducted on alcohol and arousal. They say “… with little exception, alcohol increased women’s self-reported sexual arousal under controlled conditions… Paradoxically, there is considerable evidence indicating that alcohol can have opposite – i.e. attenuating – effects on physiological indices of vaginal responding.”

 

In other words we think we are aroused by booze, but we feel it less.

Yikes.

 

Today I’m not drinking because I THINK it’s a good idea…

 

How come you’re not drinking?