This horse is NOT dead…
Or: Is Alcoholism a Choice, Revisited
I am one of those people who will beat a subject (or a joke) into the ground. My son Jon Jon is the person who calls me on it regularly. During the Christmas holiday, he told me that every time I give his dog a treat, I announce to whoever will listen that dogs can’t eat chocolate and the realistic cookies I buy at the pet store are made of carob. I have no idea what carob is. I don’t really care. It is important to the story I tell ad nausium, because I go on to say the shop girl told me she eats them regularly. Now that I know I am being repetitive, I will only tell the dog cookie story if Jon Jon is not there to make fun of me…
For those of you who are finished with the sway-backed subject of whether alcoholism is a choice or not, please stop reading. I’m going to bring it up again. Yesterday and the day before (The Choices We Make and Grateful), we had some amazing dialogue in the “Comments Section” of this blog (and on Facebook). If you haven’t done so, please read them. The writing is a treat and per usual, an inspiration.
Kim commented with Matthew 7: 1-2 Judge not, that you be not judged… and it occurred to me that one of the important aspects about the the aftermath of the choices we make while drinking, are the people we affect. One of the comments yesterday was from Liz, who says that many years after her husband’s recovery she still has moments of resentment. A child named Evie wrote to say, “…alkohol hurts a family…”
The difficulty for those who have been touched by an alcoholic in their lives, is understanding the concept of choice verses choices. We choose to pick up the glass and drink, we do not choose the craving to do so. I gave an example yesterday about choosing to drink glass after glass of cheap wine, but not choosing the compulsion to get in a car afterwards and bleed all over my ex’s welcome mat. Understanding this concept is KEY to forgiveness.
Liz, who I mentioned above, recommended a DVD called Pleasure Unwoven. She said it saved her marriage. I ordered it, but I found these trailers on YouTube. You simply must watch at least two 4 minute movies: 2. The Choice Argument and 8.Hypofrontality in Addiction. Not only does Dr. Kevin McCauley agree with my argument that alcoholism is not a choice, he does so dressed as a cowboy and it ties in nicely with my Dead Horse theme…
