I can’t take it anymore. It will drive me to drink. Everywhere I look there are misplaced or missing apostrophes – on placards, on Facebook mewling, on Christmas card familial updates…
On Facebook – Its my sisters’ birthday! This means I have several sisters born on the same day who are the possessions of an unknown. It makes my teeth melt.
On a Sign at the MOCA rally – Womens Boobs are not PORN!!!! The word “women” is a plural and if you are trying to indicate that several women own boobs, an apostrophe belongs before the “s”. Even my spellcheck (an evil influencer for the insecure apostrophe user) knows this is wrong…
On a major store’s ad (see how I did that?) – Walgreens Pharmacy. The pharmacy BELONGS to Walgreens, people. It’s Walgreens’ Pharmacy! Does the “s” at the end throw you?
Examples of one rule of thumb:
the class’s hours
Mr. Jones’ golf clubs
The canvas’s size
On an ad on the worldwide web for women’s boots – Womens Boots at Kohl’s. This one actually makes my ears smoke… Zappos and DSW have women’s boots, by the way so please shop there.
If you are an insane, OCD laden, monomaniacal, ex-boozer trying to stay off the sauce and punctuation is a hot button for you (or if you need HELP) please read the hilarious and brilliant:
Or give it as a gift (Dear Santa: My copy of Eats Shoots & Leaves is well worn and the new edition has cover art!).
Today I’m not drinking, because SOMEONE has to be diligent about apostrophes!
How come you’re not drinking?