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The Amazing Lack of URGENCY to My Sobriety…

The Amazing Lack of URGENCY to My Sobriety…

The Amazing Lack of URGENCY to My Sobriety…

For the first time since I started this blog, and certainly the first time since I started working at Sanford House, I did not look at the internet for the entire weekend. In fact, this is the longest period of time I have not written in my blog for three years. It is not because I have relapsed. Or that I am too depressed to come up with anything inspirational. It is not because I am rebellious or even lackadaisical. I just had better things to do…

Imagine That…

Imagine that. My daughter Lauren and her boyfriend John were visiting from Florida. I spent my downtime last week preparing for their coming.  Groceries were purchased and I filled the pantry with canned goods. I did not want them to think I live on Skinny Pop and blackberries. Or that I would not be prepared if there was a blizzard. I also made everything shine like the top of the Chrysler Building (to use a phrase that might be controversial this close to Motown…).

 

They arrived at midnight on Thursday, and from that moment until I put them on a plane yesterday, I was 100% attentive to their needs. We experienced everything from a 70 degree hike on the Saugatuck Dunes (see photo above where I am upstaging my daughter), to a SRO Frankenmuth sojourn, to a home cooked banquet at friends’, to a bona fide snowstorm in the Up North, boonies.  And we ate a lot of meat. And fried stuff, like pickles and mushrooms and potatoes…

Drinking Mom vs. Sober Mom…

Both John and Lauren have experienced my behavior as a drinker. In fact, they woke me to remind me I used to be “kind of a mean drunk” when they got home (ironically, cheerfully drunk) from a Grand Rapids brewery tour. There was only one time I thought that a glass of red wine would be nice.  Oh, come on, we were hiking in snow and holed up in a rough hewn, log lodge…

 

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Who could blame me? Fireside at Edgetts Lodge…

 

But seriously, other than sitting in a waterside bar after a long walk with a yen for a warming glass of plonk, the main thing I felt was a resounding sense of peace. When I was drinking, everything was so urgent. Especially on a long weekend with actual, human beings. When could I start drinking? Would I have enough? And how long before we stop all this “fun nonsense” and get down to the business of getting drunk?

 

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Lauren and John – fun nonsense in the Michigan woods…

 

What a Relief

I am so grateful for the long days I have now and the fact that I can drive at any time of day, with impunity.  To experience the first snowfall with a couple of Florida tourists and focus on nothing heavier than what to eat (heavier is right) and what to see next… The profound equanimity. The pure hilarity…

 

Oh, and speaking of tourists, we hiked in the woods during hunting season and climbed into someone’s deer blind. I don’t think you are supposed to do that. We were walking, tricked out in the orange gear we found in the lodge, and Lauren said, “Why is there yellow snow in our footprints? It looks like urine.”

 

I said, “OOOH, I think they spread deer pee to mask the smell of man in the forest…” As we went stomping, with our “man smell” all over the woods….

 

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Watch out where the huskies go… Floridians in the snow…

 

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Is it trespassing???

 

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It’s what all the huntresses are wearing this season…

 

 

Today I’m not drinking because there is peace (and quiet and fried stuff) in sobriety.

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These deer were in our yard. We named them Gracy and Lacy and became attached (not a smart thing to do during deer season). We hope they make it unscathed…

How come you’re not drinking?

 

Comments (11)

  1. Mark
    Nov 22, 2016

    You were in my tree stand! It does have a beautiful view doesn’t it?

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Nov 23, 2016

      Oh good. I thought it may be one of your neighbor’s digs. I can’t say I am sorry we spread “man juice” all over your territory. After all we have grown quite attached to Gracy and Lacy and want to give them a fighting chance. We had the best time ever…
      XXXOOO
      M

  2. Who the hell has time to drink?
    Nov 22, 2016

    I’m out of the country….in the tropics….will not miss the snow this winter. All best, Jim

  3. C
    Nov 22, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    Because I'm too busy counting my blessings.
    Have missed your posts but totally embrace the reason for your absence! Grateful this Thanksgiving for blogs like yours…….more than you will know.

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Nov 23, 2016

      Thank YOU. I am back but it was nice to not think about drinking or not drinking for a bit. Have a wonderful holiday.
      XXXOOO
      M

  4. Alice
    Nov 23, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    I want to enjoy cross country skiing in freshly fallen snow.
    I was laughing at your section about “fun nonsense”. My husband and friends used to call me a “fun hater” because I was driven to “get the business done” so I could keep to my rigid schedule of drinking. I needed to get so much done in so little time because the rest of the day was dedicated to drinking. I still struggle a little with my schedule, but I’m much less urgent 🙂

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Nov 23, 2016

      Exactly. Get the “unimportant” stuff out of the way and organize the evening for booze. It is times like this weekend that make me realize how much more rich and full my life is now that I am sober. Here’s to less urgency!
      XXXOOO
      M

  5. Laurie
    Nov 23, 2016

    I’m new to this sobriety thing. Again. your blogs continue to reinforce the things I’m reminded of when I go to meetings. People without drinking problems just can’t understand how the mind of an alcoholic works. Everything is so urgent when I’m not sober. And I would become a prisoner in my home when drinking because anything that involved driving was out of the question after I decided to take my first drink. Because that first drink quickly became many. I need to remind myself how free I am when sober. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Nov 24, 2016

      That’s why the blog is called Waking Up the Ghost – once you wake the beast it’s all over. Congratulations on your sobriety and yes, you are FREE!
      Welcome.
      XXXOOO
      M

  6. Laurie
    Nov 24, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    Because today I am FREE!
    Ahhh! Waking the Ghost. I get it. I’m very grateful for your blog. Grateful I learned about it from Woodie on our high school FB page. Happy Thanksgiving Marilyn. Today I will toast with my ginger ale. Wish it was cherry ginger ale from the northern Michigan store. 🙂

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