I was walking with a friend of mine after work last night. He’s in recovery too – about the same length of time as me. We have both been sober long enough to have gotten past the acute, cravings stage, but recent enough to remember what it was like to have them.
If you saw us walking by, talking and laughing you might think to yourself, “Those are a couple of people who look carefree.” But like most adults, we have our share of issues. We have talked about the fact we face life’s peccadillos differently now that we’re sober. We are more thoughtful and slower to react. More apt to let things slide.
Good and Bad News…
We recognize that both the good and bad news about clear-headedness is facing a problem without anesthetic. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with your hands…
I was just sitting here this morning thinking about the fact we passed the city mission on our walk – the little park outside where those who are down on their luck accumulate. And in a doorway nearby, there was a man all in black, who slept facing the wall on a concrete stoop. He had a piece of cardboard under his head and he adjusted it like you would a lumpy pillow and resettled as we walked past. It’s funny, the drunk in the doorway didn’t really register until now.
I Can Relate…
It might be weird for a swell like me to say this, but I totally relate to that guy. I was not a genteel drunk, not not too far from that level of self-contempt. I passed out on my share of rock-hard floors. And I wonder, did he wake after dark when it got colder? Was he rousted by the police? When he woke, was the first thing that fired in his brain a need for another drink?
I relate to that too. The robotic necessity for more booze and all that follows…
Ours is not to wonder why, I suppose. Ours is more to be grateful for this resurrection. Grateful for a walk after work with a friend. I have been sober long enough to know that a piece of cardboard is not a pillow. But recent enough to recall what it was like to not care, one way or the other…
