I’ll say it – one of the most vilified demographics is the older woman. Especially if she dares to be sexual, current or aggressive in business. I recently read a blog by a 20 something who admonished women over the age of 40 for wearing hoop earrings. Seriously? We aren’t allowed to wear hoop earrings? Why do people care what we do?
The Older Woman Cliché…
I am an “older woman” and I don’t wear house dresses or lace up brogues. I do not act like the stereotypical woman past her prime. In fact, on a good day, I feel at the top of my game. But I am guilty of shuddering from a YouTube video of a granny dancing erotically. I have been known to say, “Madonna should lose that stupid grill.” There are certain things, as women age gracefully, that are just not done.
Like Getting sloppy drunk for example.
One of the most influential comments anyone ever said to me when I was drinking was, “You know, after a certain age, women look really sad when they’re drunk…” (thank you Dee). Because it’s true – the stereotype of the aging, female barfly is about as bad as the 80 year old dirty dancing at a wedding reception. We’ve come a long way baby, but making a fool of oneself is never “cute” or liberating.
When Your Addiction Starts Late in Life…
I got divorced at 49 years old and that is when a lifetime of overdrinking turned into addiction. There is something embarrassing about admitting that. I spent a lot of time in The Bahamas after my divorce, proving the adage “there is no fool like an old fool.” And disproving the one about “not being able to teach old dogs new tricks”…
There are photos. Talk about shuddering – even though my addiction was the reason I was draped suggestively over the shoulders of strangers, forgetting to suck in my stomach for the camera…
Older Women and Addiction Treatment
And for older women, there’s more to the problem of drinking than embarrassing selfies. Post menopausal women who misuse alcohol are at a much greater risk for certain cancers. Old age compounds the negative health effects of alcohol and as we age we lose our resiliency to the damage alcohol can cause.
In the past, stigma has been sited as the main reason older women do not seek treatment for substance use disorders. But the factors that exacerbate addiction are prevalent in the lives of older women. Divorce, death of a spouse, retirement, empty nest syndrome, the perceived loss of looks and social invisibility are all factors in addiction late in a woman’s life.
