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Let the Little Children Come to Me… for Ellie and Evie

Let the Little Children Come to Me… for Ellie and Evie

Let the Little Children Come to Me… for Ellie and Evie

girls

 

Isn’t that what people do? I mean be kind, be helpful, help your neighbor, reach out a hand? I’m glad she looked out for you even if you didn’t need it. What makes some people not care, not be nice, not find you likeable, what is it in them? I don’t understand. I never had that in all my life with dad. You have no idea how much I wish B. would put one hand on my shoulder to help me. Do you realize that only you 3 reach out anything for us? Do you know how low that makes me feel? How unloved? How you wonder if you belong anywhere in this earth? Did I tell you and Miss Kim thank you for talking to me on the phone?  Like I mattered to someone. I think I might watch the little mermaid with Evie, all dressed in black and find my voice. Ellie…

 

It is time, I think, for me to weigh in. I have been under strict orders to “be careful” and quieted from my outrage while I have watched two children I care about suffer. Above is a comment on yesterday’s blog post from my young friend Ellie. As you all know, I helped a great guy with his sobriety a while ago. Nick used to write a lot on the blog comments and I was his recovery coach, so I also geared many blog posts about topics he and I shared. I did this because some of those topics were universal to the process of getting and staying sober. I helped him and he helped me in a lot of ways…

 

Nick and his daughters became friends of mine and although I never met them in person, I felt like I knew them as deeply as is possible to know three people. Sometimes the veil of the written word, without mitigating body language and facial expression or the distraction of direct contact, is good for honest communication.

 

Nick died a few months ago. It was not alcohol related – he had been sober for nine months and his life was just coming together. His daughters were sent to another country to live with a distant (in all senses of the word) relative. I will not say a lot about this person other than the fact she seems to have gotten the family smarts without the ability to be kind, and that she seems to think that isolating children from their loved ones is akin to controlling their hearts.

 

Let me be clear. If Ellie want to find her voice, she has a forum to speak it here. Shout it here. What of young lives controlled by legality and sterile documents and dark rooms without love? What about children who have gone through such sorrow with no place to mourn but a telescope and the night sky? What about a guardian who takes credit for all the successes these children make, in spite of their untenable situation? And how much more are these two innocents supposed to shoulder?

 

Watching the Little Mermaid dressed in black is appropriate, I suppose. Ellie is a clever girl and irony does not escape her. She wants to be “where the people are” – that excruciating need we all have to belong… And how is it anything but unbearable when a loving home awaits?

 

Tell me how you feel Ellie. Tell us how you feel, because you matter. You are loved. You belong with us…

 

There. I said it. So sue me…

 

Today I’m not drinking because. Just because…

 

 

How come you’re not drinking?

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Comments (23)

  1. Avatar
    jim
    Jul 14, 2016

    Helping and loving other people fills your inner self. Sex may be good for one’s complexion (like I remember), but there is nothing like loving friends to make the bad times bearable and the good times all that much better. Besides…..I have about four days work to do today. Who the hell has time for a drink?

  2. Avatar
    Kim
    Jul 14, 2016

    Oh my brilliant friend………..
    How I wish your words could heal the ills the girls are suffering like they healed the torment their father was experiencing as a result of profound loss. But yes, like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, Ellie needs a voice . Someone to actually hear the truth of the situation.
    Ursula the sea witch may want to take her voice away, but she can never take her spirit.I wish Nick could swoop in like King Triton and save the day,sadly he can’t, but he did plant the seeds for survival. Ellie is good, honest,and keenly aware of her situation. Most of all, she knows what love is. She knows where it exists and where it does not. She knows that love heals and doesn’t die. She knows we love her and that we stand in the gap that separates us. We fill that gap with prayer, hope, and the hugs that only the heart can feel.

    ” Wouldn’t I love,
    Love to explore the shore up above?
    Out of the sea, wish I could be
    Part of your world”
    ariel/ Kim and Marilyn and T

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jul 14, 2016

      It will have to be enough for now…
      Love,
      Marilyn

    • Avatar
      ellie
      Jul 14, 2016

      Yes ma’am I do know what love is. I know it doesn’t die. I know you and Miss Marilyn love us. We love you too.

  3. Avatar
    Mark S
    Jul 14, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    I want to remember today.
    Wow! Powerful…

  4. Avatar
    Bob White
    Jul 14, 2016

    “…no place to mourn but a telescope and the night sky.” That’s a hard one to get past. I’ll be thinking about that one for awhile…

  5. Avatar
    C
    Jul 14, 2016

    Well said. Ellie, we all love you. And I don’t even know you. But believe me, I love you!

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jul 14, 2016

      🙂
      M

    • Avatar
      ellie
      Jul 14, 2016

      Do you know what it feels like to have a letter C, a person, love you even just a little? It feels nice. It feels safe. It feels warm. Thank you for just being nice.

  6. Avatar
    Eva
    Jul 14, 2016

    I miss Nick too. His comments were very personal, unique and wise. His legacy for me is to remember, not to corner your enemy, give him a way out with some dignity, and much more… Girls clearly possess similar special qualities…what a gift!

    I would explore the interpretation of the NEED TO BELONG. As much as I can relate, this need can have different forms. In my mind, the need to love and honor yourself first, including learning how to feel happy and self sustained should come before all other needs. Not to be confused with being selfish. More about being able to feel personal peace without relaying on the other people’s validation.

    Constant challenge, but with conscious, daily reminders, it works. Girls were blessed with Nick”s spirit. I hope that with time they will find the happiness within themselves, without relaying on other people.

    Love,
    Eva

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jul 14, 2016

      Great to hear from you. And Nick’s spirit is a saving grace, but for the young, sense of self often comes from role models and loving guardians and parents. That is what is so hard to take – knowing that the role models (though keen) are very far away from the girls.
      I hope you are well. Nice to hear your “voice”.
      XXXOOO
      M

    • Avatar
      ellie
      Jul 14, 2016

      Miss Eva I actually remember dad and Evie and I praying for you. I don’t know how dad knew you but he did. He liked you. So we prayed for you. Thank you for telling me that you miss my dad. I never hear his name anymore. No one here knows him. Thank you for telling me honestly I have to find my happiness inside me. Miss Kim says that too in a picture where the happiness is inside a little person and they asked where did you get it and the person said they made it themselves. I promise I’m trying to find my happiness and I’m trying to not rely on others. I’m just not good at it.

      • Avatar
        Eva
        Jul 14, 2016

        Ellie, you made me cry happy tears :))) I will keep you both in my prayers as well! You are a very special person, like your dad. I know you will persevere and find peace and happiness you deserve.

        Having to deal with difficult circumstances so early in your life is certainly challenging. The good thing is that being young can be an advantage. Habits we learn in childhood tend to stick with us for life. So if you practice making your own happiness, and to love and self respect yourself, without relying on validation from others, chances are that you will be happy, no matter what. It is a skill that will serve you well for life. Possibly protect you from future heartbreaks. Love your story about the little person making her own happiness:))) Consider not focusing or deeply caring about other people wrong doing, as it is out of your control. Can you try not to take it to heart? Let it slide off your shoulder and do not let it bother you for real? Not pretend, for real.

        I am not very good at not letting people get under my skin either, but getting better. Practice makes perfect! Chin up, let go and focus on beauty that surrounds you. Sometimes I use my imagination if I need to go to a beautiful place. One of my favorites is a green meadow in the mountains on a sunny day with lots of colorful butterflies . . . Would love to hear about your happy place some day 🙂

        You are my little Super Hero Girl! It will all be good 🙂

        Love,
        Eva

        Eva

  7. Avatar
    ellie
    Jul 14, 2016

    “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them…” ” And after he had placed his hands on them, He went on from there” Do you see it Miss Marilyn? It says do NOT hinder them and he placed his hands on them. It is what people are supposed to do. It says it right there and Miss Kim showed me.

    How I feel? How I feel? I don’t know enough adjectives and verbs to describe how I feel. Have you ever looked at a waterfall? How it stops suddenly and crashes over rocks all the way down down down? I feel like if I open up all my words for how I feel the waterfall thing will happen.

    But please ma’am is you don’t mind may I say this? And please ma’am if this isn’t appropriate for a child can you please make it go away. Honorable. If someone asked me what is honorable I would say it is someone who shows others they deserve honor, they are honest, don’t lie, don’t cheat, and they do the right thing all the time. I call a man here honorable. So I want to feel like he does the right thing all the time. But I don’t. I don’t understand. I know he has to follow laws and rules but I am sure he does. But how can doing the right thing mean I can’t be counted. I mean, I have opinions and wants and reasons for my wants. I want them to explain to me how the law is more right than my wants. I deserve to have a voice. I know that a paper or a will keeps me here. I would stay if I belonged here. If I was wanted here. If B ( sorry Miss Marilyn I forgot) showed me she really loved me or even liked me , I would stay. Please tell me how I am supposed to feel? You told me 4 more months. Then what 10 more? Please tell me how I can look you in the eye and call you honorable? I can’t sir. I don’t think you did the right thing for me and Evie. I will follow all your rules and be polite. I will try 4 more months. But sir at the end of the day I do look up with my telescope I love and I talk to God and I know right from wrong. Excuse me sir, but how is it right to let 2 girls, one little and one medium, live in a place that love doesn’t exist. Isn’t that why Jesus wanted the little children to come? Because their love was more natural and sincere and real?

  8. Avatar
    Dawn
    Jul 14, 2016

    WOW! Passionate love!
    When my soul misses and longs I look to the stars and find comfort knowing the ones I miss see the same moon.

  9. Avatar
    ellie
    Jul 14, 2016

    Wait, maybe I said it wrong. Maybe there isn’t always a clear right and wrong. Dad always taught me to think what ought to I do not what.should I do. He taught me to make sure your conscience and moral parts are in a line with what I ought to do. It should fit into the golden rule. But you have to listen and look and feel and pray to make sure you do what you ought to do. Have you done this honorable? I have every day trying to make sure I am listening and following all the things I know before I say this is what I believe is best for me. I’m not trying to be mean and complain about things. I will never go home. I have no home. I will never have a mom and dad. They are in the heavens. I’m not asking for you to send me to the moon. I’m asking for you to listen . I’m asking to go to a place that has love. That shows me love. Or even like. That is all sir. I do ” want to be where the people are”, the ones that can help me grow up to be what my mom and dad wanted. Someone who reaches out a hand to others, loves their neighbor, and shows the world how special god made them. I just want that chance. We want that chance.

  10. Avatar
    Other
    Jul 15, 2016

    Girls, I am so proud of your voices. It took me some time to dig this out but I wanted you to read this. It was from your dad. He had been in California and was getting ready to return. Ellie and Evie, I do love you like he wanted and I promise you no matter how many difficult turns there are for us, I am still here. Ready to love you exactly as your dad asked. You have my word.
    ” Is there any chance you can get them new dresses? You know kinda give them a mom day? I dare say what my three lovelies would do but I want you all to spend time together. Would you mind sharing the day with Lauren? Share her, laugh about her, paint her memory strong to them. You know in their minds, you and Lauren were supposed to be the dynamic duo. You solo fly now sweetie. I pass the baton to you. Would you mind always being their mother? Not just any mother, but Lauren’s heart of a mother. One that wakes with with a prayer of thanksgiving that they came into this world, one that laughs and shares and believes in them, one that dreams with them not for them, one that opens their heart fully for the world and teaches them to open theirs as such. …..I don’t believe I am asking for much from you. Just you being you. ….

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jul 16, 2016

      Per usual Nick’s words on “paper” bring him back to life for me. I feel your pain, “Other”…
      Love,
      M

    • Avatar
      ellie
      Jul 21, 2016

      I love you Miss Other. I miss you more than ever. I never realized how much you are a part of us. But you are. Can I tell you one thing? If I could pick one wish it would be that you could feel the love Evie and I have in our heart that belongs to you. I love you and I’ll see you soon. OK? I know I will. So you be strong too. Love you. PS Evie and I leave a place for you when we kneel to say prayers since that was dads way.

      • Marilyn
        Marilyn
        Jul 21, 2016

        Keep those traditions – even if you have to keep them for yourselves till you are all together again. Do you have to keep your dad’s traditions all by yourselves? Have the things that were so important to him become somehow unsanctioned???
        Love,
        Marilyn

  11. Avatar
    Other
    Jul 23, 2016

    Ellie and Evie,
    I just saw this. I love you both as if you were my own children. Nothing and no one can or will ever change this. Our strength El/Ev comes from kneeling. My last prayers of the night are for my family, which includes you two. Keep your dad’s traditions alive. You can call me if you want. I miss hearing your voices.
    I love you Evie.
    I love you Ellie.

  12. Avatar
    Miles Walthour
    Aug 22, 2016

    And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female

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