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I’m in Droopy Recovery…

I’m in Droopy Recovery…

I’m in Droopy Recovery…

droop

 

This is probably the longest I have gone without writing on the blog in two years. It’s been 4 dry days, and not because I am teetering precariously on a bridge or drooling at the window of Ye Ole Wine Cellar. I’m just feeling kind of bored with it all. Like I am ready for a new test, or a rebranding…

 

I’m coming up on my 3 year sober anniversary, and it seems I am thinking less and less about drinking. No cravings, no anger at a cruel turn of events, no resentments. I am certainly not bored with my life, and the recovery field is full of innovation – never a dull moment. So why do I feel so blah?

 

I know some people will say, “Get thee to a meeting.”

 

Tall Girl says, “Violent emotional twists – Bill actually uses those words to explain the highs and lows we experience in recovery, especially prior to doing the steps…..nudge, nudge…”

 

But I don’t think I am “violently emotionally twisting,” per se. More a whimper than a bang. Over the two years I have written this blog, I’ve talked about triggers and relapse, and the 50 reasons I LOVE being sober, and medically assisted recovery. I’ve crowed about happiness and sobriety toolboxes and equine coaching. I’ve addressed the pros and cons of puppy ownership and new relationships and sober sex. I’ve reported my meltdowns and triumphs, bragged about driving a van and dissected the subtle differences between isolation and solitude. I have been a proponent of Michigan’s hiking trails and a foe to the blithe use of drugs and alcohol in the islands…

 

Have I run out of topics? Am I lexiconically dry (to use an intended pun)? Have I lost my gift of sober gab?

 

Or do I just need a new profile photo and a great title?

 

Today I’m not drinking because I am too droopy to lift a glass…

 

How come you’re not drinking?

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Comments (5)

  1. Avatar
    Simon
    Jul 6, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    I am
    M you have such an intriguing style that I would suggest expanding your horizons with less of the introspective and more worldly opinion, your tales of travel, views on the taboo , political bs and religion. I don’t know how many readers like myself but I drink daily however look for your blog with relish. As I have requested statistics previously maybe a readership survey would work to get input and put a new spin on ‘da thang’

  2. Avatar
    Tim S
    Jul 6, 2016

    Have you considered putting yourself on a once-a-week schedule? Your readers will manage, and if they don’t, well, you will. If you’re not getting out of it what you’re feeling you have to put into it, then change the formula — “to change the things I can.” One of the gifts of sobriety is the freedom to set limits for ourselves, including the freedom to say no.

    I’ve heard old timers say, “I’ve been the perfect sponsor; I haven’t had to drink over one of them yet.” The same principle applies.

    I confess that, as an on again-off again blogger and web site maintainer for many years, I’ve been a bit awed by your productivity. (Obviously, I don’t know what you’ve promised your employer ow whether that’s relevant.)

  3. Avatar
    Camla
    Jul 6, 2016

    How come you're not drinking?
    Hepatitis C (serious wake up call)
    I enjoy your blog and thank you for sharing your experiences. Your post reminded me of a post I once read:

    There seem to be two basic models of being a person who used to drink to excess:
    #1 = I used to drink to excess, so I am an Alcoholic, and will always be, and will build my life around that perceived pathology.
    OR
    #2 = I used to drink to excess, and now I don’t, so I’ll get on with the rest of my life.
    AA is in the minds of many THE model- and AA’s model is that #1 option above. And that just so doesn’t work for me. Yes, I know it works well for many- but it apparently has worked so well that it is accepted by many as The Only Way that Works. Thinking AA was the only option for stopping drinking delayed my quitting for years, for the whole concept was a bad fit for me. It wasn’t until I discovered the online world of sober blogging that I was able to face my situation, decide to make changes, and do it.

    So: I used to drink too much, and now I don’t. I am very grateful for this change. I used the anesthesia of alcohol to hide from all sorts of important things. I am now facing these things head on, doing what needs doing, learning and growing. I acknowledge that I have a faulty Off Switch for alcohol, so I’ve decided that not using alcohol is the healthiest choice for me. But I don’t feel defined by my use of or avoidance of alcohol. Alcohol is a crutch I used to need, and I don’t now. It was a tool that I needed, a form of self-medication- and I’ve now found healthier alternatives. And that’s it!

    http://itsdifferentnow2.blogspot.com/

    You used to drink in excess. Maybe you are ready to move on?

  4. Avatar
    Tim S
    Jul 6, 2016

    @Camla,

    You’ll get no argument from me. Your post is a wonderful reminder that there are many ways for those of us who believe we have (or had) a problem with alcohol — whether it’s drinking too much or being emotionally abusive to loved ones when we drink or stealing from our bosses or not recognizing the person we wake up next to — to get sober, to stay sober, and if applicable to change our lives. A therapist once suggested to me, when I finally got honest with her, that I just go home that night and not drink. She might as well have told me to go home and not breathe. My experience is doing it with AA (notwithstanding that I’m a lifelong atheist) and my experience is all I have to share but I’m always glad to hear others’ different experience, including yours. Kudos, and thank you.

  5. Avatar
    Kathy OConnor
    Jul 7, 2016

    I know a good equine coach who could help you find you passion in life. Our horses are ready to help guide you to your joy. Come water that flower.

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