I never went to rehab, but I went to Canyon Ranch. Canyon Ranch is like rehab-light: I place so gorgeous and serene you don’t MIND spending the equivalent of the annual income of a Latvian, for a ten day stay… Canyon Ranch is like a fancy prison, or the Hotel California – you check in but you can never leave. They serve you three square (sparse) meals a day, and beat the living shit out of your body in classes with names like “Cardio Fusion” and “Metabolic Meltdown”.
Alcohol is not served. Everyone walks around after dark in Toweling Robes like elegant Zombies, trolling for SOMETHING TO EAT… On the way home the two times I went there, I started with a glass(es) of wine in the airport bar, and went on to three (the maximum) wine shooters on the plane. After ALL THAT MONEY, and such HIGH HOPES.
The bottom line is this: there is no easy, pretty, Five-Star way to get sober. You have to ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES and do the work.
Today I’m not drinking because: I have CHORES to do.
How come you’re not drinking?