Do you ever think to yourself, “Ok, I did some lousy stuff when I was drinking, but just how much do I have to atone for my bad behavior, and for how much longer?” I mean I’m not the only one who was prideful or wasteful or an unpleasant drunk, right? Enough is enough – it seems like it should be my time to shine, right about now.
I left work last night and my car wouldn’t start. Recently, when I have turned it on, the dashboard has flashed the little word “service” like a subliminal message from on high, but I’ve ignored it. You are going to shake your heads and think the Lord helps those who help themselves, but I can explain. I had my car completely vetted five months ago, before I drove from Florida to Michigan, and it got a clean bill of health.
But I do have a little electrical problem that causes the dashboard to light up like a one-armed-bandit when the car does start, and it tells me I need air in my tires and oil in my tank when I don’t. So I have taken to ignoring my car’s error messages…
Anyway, I just left my car in the parking lot at work and walked home, because I couldn’t deal with it last night. I told myself, “Tomorrow will be a new day and you will be brimming with energy and ideas in the morning – Pinterest probably has all kinds of clever suggestions on what to do with a dead car. Add window boxes and fashion a play house for the kids? Hang ribbons, hook it to a couple of draft horses and sleigh rides!”
Of course, now it’s tomorrow and I have to figure out how to get my car to a repair shop and muster up some gratefulness, that this didn’t happen when I was camped in some backwoods State Park.
Susan reminded me yesterday in a Facebook message, to take my “gratefulness walks”. She does this thing where she lists all the reasons she’s thankful, for the entire time she is trucking three miles or so, along a beach or a city street. And I agree it’s best to remember all the good things in life. Food and friends and the health of my children, for example. I even wrote a blog post called “Training My Brain to Think Positive” yesterday.
But as I sit here, the only idea that has sprung to mind (positive, grateful or otherwise) is to wear shoes that are attractive but comfortable, as I will be walking to work. I think there should be degrees of “gratefulness walks”. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be sober. I am grateful for rainbows and flowers and a meaningful job. I am grateful for my comfortable footwear…
But I’d be more grateful if I also had a car that worked…
