In The Bahamas they have an expression, “Things happen.” Those two little words seem to sum up the national psyche. They explain away all of life’s travails in the islands. The expression “things happen,” covers everything from the inappropriate behavior on a drunken night, to the irrevocable destruction of force majeure. The words are uttered with an ironic raised eyebrow and a shrug. Kind of like the Midwestern expression “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” but with a lot more at stake…
The expression, “things happen…” goes hand in hand with another, hopeful Bahamian aphorism, “It’s all good.” I have always loved the way these words feel. Their lack of judgment – the hint that once you are in “the club”, it would take a lot to toss you out. The implied notion that life happens to all of us and stressing (or apologizing) too much is a waste of time.
Of course everything sounds better with a Bahamian accent.
It’s why my recovery affirmations usually include a caveat…
Anyway, I was going for a walk this morning and the sign below made me laugh out loud. The arrows pointing up as if the sky were about to fall. And the lack of instructions about how to avoid deadly icicles raining down unexpectedly. Was I to turn around and go another way? Make a run for it? Wear a helmet? Scurry home and hide like Henny Penny? It made me think of The Bahamas…
“Why,” you may ask, would a sign about falling ice make me think of The (sunny) Bahamas? But, it did. It made me think of my recovery. Because in life and in recovery, “things happen”. Sometimes it seems like the sky is falling in, even when it’s “all good” in the end. So, here I was standing on a street corner with my IPhone, taking a photo and laughing at this crazy thing called life. Because I relate so much to the unforeseen pitfall.
Things Happen…
One of things that was the hardest for me to UNDERSTAND, when I got sober, was that there were still going to be problems. Sobriety was not going to make everything okay. Loved ones might die, I might lose a job, fall out of love, be bored, not be able to pay the electric bill… My car might break down in Tifton Georgia on a Sunday.
And that is why, my friends, recovery is not just about stopping your drug of choice. It’s about filling the void with other options. Because when the inevitable problems happen, you must be ready to respond. And you can’t go back to the old days, when every one of life’s exigencies, joys or apathies caused you to guzzle a party bottle of white wine. You have to look at the problem with clear eyes and face it like a boss.
After I took my photos, I looked up. I was about to pass under a skywalk, stretching from one building to another across Michigan Avenue. As far as I could see, there was no ice to clobber me. I was safe. It’s been warm for a few days and it seemed the danger had melted away…
The sky was not falling…
(although a truck could have a flat tire, jump the curb and run me over when I’m not paying attention). But these days I have a lot less to worry about. And I am not in the business of fretting about things that are unlikely to happen. It is always prudent to look up when a sign tells you there is the potential of falling ice, because things do happen.
