False Deadlines and Other Bugaboos…

The sign says, “60 SECONDS FOR YOUR BURGER OR THE SECOND SANDWICH FREE!”*

Who in the world came up with this gimmick? I picture some new Jacksonville Beach McDonald’s manager trying to make his mark in the fast food world with an attempt at an ice-bucket-challenge of an idea – BURGERS IN 60 SECONDS OR LESS OR THE SECOND SANDWICH FREE!!!Who finds this of value? Can you imagine a family moved to buy lunch at McDonald’s – their wrist watches at the ready – because they may get a free sandwich if their meals take more than a minute to prepare? And think about the whole staff, running around trying to manage expectations that weren’t there in the first place. This is (to use a bad burger-biz pun) a WHOPPER of a false deadline.False deadlines are unnecessary, time sensitive stressors.

Hi. Innovation Group is moving Waking Up the Ghost to a new Google based “Platform” this week. Right before I go to Flint, Michigan to see my mother after five years of estrangement. My mother does not have WIFI. The Hi. people are wonderful, and I hope all will be seamless, but let’s face it – there are always unintended side effects where technology is concerned**.

I set the dates for these activities, by the way, and now they are written in unforgiving stone.

I’d like to have a big, fat cold tumbler of cheap Chardonnay right about now. And a cigarette. And I’ve never been a smoker.

If I lose you for a day I am sorry***. Think of me running to the only Internet Café in Flint, barking into the phone and trying to figure out how to navigate WordPress, while my mother is waiting by the door with her purse in the crook of her arm, because I PROMISED I’d take her to fucking Frankenmuth for fried chicken at noon.

*Sorry you can’t read the sign – some idiot behind me was blowing the horn. I even went back this morning to get a better picture and the sign was changed to, “HIRING NOW” – new manager? Entire staff quit due to false deadline stress??

**Lauren says all side effects are unintended. We have debated this subject ad nauseam.

*** You can always find me at www.wakinguptheghost.com