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Blue Skies Smilin’ at Me, Nothing But Blue Skies Do I See… for Ellie

Blue Skies Smilin’ at Me, Nothing But Blue Skies Do I See… for Ellie

Blue Skies Smilin’ at Me, Nothing But Blue Skies Do I See… for Ellie

Ellie told me a story last night. A vignette about her sister Evie, who was mentoring a group of three-year olds at their school. She said Evie asked one little girl, “What color is an apple?” The little girl said, “Red.” Evie said, “Good. What color is the grass?” “Green!” said the little girl.  Evie said, “Great. Now, what color is the sky?” The little girl said, “Gray.”

 

When you’re expecting the answer “blue”…

Ellie and Evie live farther north than me, so this is sort of an Up North joke. Ellie told it to make me laugh and cheer me up. But instead, it got me thinking about reality vs. perception. Apparently, the teacher stepped in and said, “Yes dear, our sky is gray right now, but the answer is ‘blue’. From now on you should answer ‘blue'”.

 

And that’s how it begins, right? You are little – you give the correct answer – and someone in authority tells you a “better” answer to the question. And against your A+ judgment, you file it away with a dollop of resentment. Hokay, I’ll say the sky is blue, but it’s GRAY.  And from that day forward you are insecure on multiple choice tests. I can still remember how I felt when my Kindergarten teacher (coincidentally named Mrs. Blue) told me all clouds were white. And made me paint them white. That is why I am an alcoholic, and not a famous painter…

 

When the blues makes you human…

Ellie went on to tell me that her dad, who was a great friend of mine, thought my blue periods made me seem more “real”. But the problem with depression is that you see gray skies, even when they are blue. And no one in authority can change your mind… Ellie says when her dad told her it was okay to be happy one moment and sad the next, it made her feel like she had been given permission to be “the entirety” of herself and still be loved.

 

I’m ashamed to say my response was a tepid, “You don’t have to be strong all the time, I guess.” Hardly a rousing doctrine from a “role model” to a teenaged girl. The fact is, I hate weakness in myself.

 

So, for all the little kids Up North who can see the sky is GRAY. And for me. because I have weathered the storm… And for Ellie and Evie, because their dad told them to “look up”, but not to fool themselves into believing it’s always a cloudless blue up there…

 

 

 

Today I’m not drinking because it’s a beautiful day!

 

How come you’re not drinking?

 

Comments (8)

  1. Who the hell has time to drink?
    Jan 26, 2017

    …but it’s always a beautiful day in Acapulco, and THIS IS A DRINKING TOWN. Naw, I’m not drinking, have too much on my plate, and I remember how enough to drink would make any skies turn gray.

  2. kim
    Jan 26, 2017

    When Ellie told me that story for some reason I thought of the first time we looked at one of Igor’s paintings. We said ,”a crescent moon “and he said, “it’s an Igor moon, it’s different under an Igor moon”. Our life experiences,our environment , our joys and our sorrows create the lens by which we see the world. I am so grateful that through love and friendship we get a glimpse of other perspectives. But oh how I wish I could be sitting with you ,Evie and Ellie right now, you wouldn’t believe how blue the sky is from where I am currently sitting.

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jan 26, 2017

      Igor certainly saw the world through his very own glasses… and I never see an Igor Moon without thinking of him. In the same way a night sky makes me think of Nick and the girls… Wish that we were all on that PR balcony together…
      Love,
      Mare

    • can I tell you something?
      Jan 26, 2017

      I love you Miss Kim. Even if my lens is cloudy, I want you to know I am trying to see through the cracks. You and Miss Marilyn help me do that.

  3. Annie
    Jan 26, 2017

    My brother Gary has been trying to get me to hear this album for about a year and I am really enjoying it. I like your post too. I hate T & F and multiple choice tests. Give me an essay question any time!! 🙂

    • Marilyn
      Marilyn
      Jan 26, 2017

      You would sing that song really well…
      Love,
      M

  4. can I tell you something?
    Jan 26, 2017

    Miss Marilyn,
    I was trying to cheer you up. After all I have come to realize it isn’t always about succeeding but trying. Why would sadness be a weakness? To me it is transparency. Like a sun catcher.
    Thank god someone gets the skies are gray NOT blue.

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